The True Peace the Lord Gave Me
Ivy Choo – Singapore
Hallelujah! In the name of Jesus I testify.
Thank God for the opportunity to testify of the true peace the Lord gave me.
I grew up in a family that worshipped idols. It’s a wondrous grace how I came to believe in the Lord. I started having health problems in 1984. My heart would beat very fast and I had difficulty breathing. My stomach was often in discomfort and pain. I cannot exactly describe the kind of pain I went through.
I consulted many doctors, including cardiac and gastric specialists. They all said there was no problem with my heart. It was only gastritis. But despite the medication, the sickness and pain did not subside. I just could not be cured.
I became weaker by the day… until I could not even to do the basic house chores.
During that time, I kept visiting one temple after another. I also sought many mediums who gave me conflicting advice, I would really feel confused, but I still did as they instructed. Whether at home or in the temple, I never dared look at the idols. Since young, I had always been very frightened of them.
I was even more afraid when I visited the mediums. It’s really frightening to see them shaking and trembling. Each time I would be standing at a distance. I persisted despite my fear as I desperately wanted peace.
But the more I visited temples and mediums, the worse I became.
I couldn’t sleep well at night. Whenever I closed my eyes, I would sense something walking back and forth beside me. And then I would hear voices talking, laughing, and crying. All this was really scary.
There were times when some force would press down on me. I’m unable to describe just how painful it was to be pressed like that, but it was really unbearable.
Each time, I would cry out “Guanyin, save me!” But it would make no difference.
I could only wait for the force to leave on its own. By then I would be utterly exhausted. It was extremely torturous. The suffering was not physical. It’s something indescribable. I went through a lot of mystical rites but still had no peace.
Later I found a geomancer. He said that the position of the idols in my house was not right. After rearranging the idol, I was still the same as before. I even had my name changed.
Yet, I was just the same as before.
At the same time, a medium suggested that I become a vegetarian. I complied and still could not find peace. My physical and mental unrest made my irritable. My temper would flare up for no reason. I would scold people, hit myself till I bruised, and throw things in house.
Once I attempted suicide by overdosing myself with medication. But was rushed to the hospital by my family. I thought that it was better to die. I was really like a mad person. My weight was a mere 33kg.
One day, while in extreme pain, I flew into a temper and started crying and shouting at the idol in the house. I said, “I have been praying to you for so many years, but look at the outcome. Are you really a god?” I stopped worshipping that idol from then on. I also told my boyfriend (who is now my husband) that I didn’t want to worship idols anymore. He had seen all my sufferings over the years, so he said that he would not worship either. I told him that I wanted to believe in Jesus.
Coincidentally, a good friend of mine told me that Jesus healed a friend of hers who was in a similar situation as I. So one afternoon, I picked up the telephone directory to look for a church. I found the True Jesus Church and I decided to give a call.
The church clerk picked up the phone and talked to me for a while. After a few days, I received a few booklets from her. When I carefully read the booklets, I felt that I had found God. The booklet mentioned that it is wrong to worship idols… that idols are merely the creation of man’s hands, and we should worship the Creator of all things. These words left a very deep impression. I thought: “ How true! I should worship the Creator and not things created by man’s hands.” There were also other teachings in the booklet that I felt was reasonable. So I decided to visit the church to have a look.
My intention was just to try out. I would only believe if my illness were healed. This was because someone had told me that I should be where my prayers are answered.
I first visited the church on 19th of May 1988. It was a Friday evening. My boyfriend took me there. My first experience was quite frightening. I was wondering, why did they make such noise in prayer. I could not see God anywhere. I thought that the church would have crosses or statues of Jesus.
During the sermon, I could not understand what the speaker was talking about. I even asked the believer sitting beside me what I must do to experience God. That night, on the way home, I told my boyfriend that I didn’t want to return there anymore. I couldn’t see God there. He too was uncomfortable in the church.
But miraculously, that night after I went home, my bad temper was gone. I felt serene in my whole being.
The following day was a Saturday and there was a church service at 2:30pm. It’s strange that though I had decided not to return to the church anymore, when it was 2pm, I changed my clothes and took a taxi there! During prayer, I truly experienced God. When I started saying “In the name of Jesus I pray”, my tongue started speak differently… my hands and my body started to vibrate. My whole being felt joy and relief. My body was feeling much more comfortable.
When I returned home, I told my boyfriend about the experience. Because of this, we both continued to go to church. But the devils also started to disturb us. Every night, they would appear, sometimes they would press upon me, sometimes they would pull at me. Sometimes I would see a figure, sometimes idols would appear everywhere in the house, in various sizes, filling the whole house.
At that time, I relied on Jesus to drive away the demons. My heart was no longer fearful like in the past. I was at peace because I knew that the Lord Jesus gave me a heart that does not fear.
One day, the church leaders knowing that the demons were still disturbing me asked if I was willing to be baptized. There was a baptism to be held on the 6August.
I decided to go for baptism. My boyfriend and I were baptized in living water on the 6t August 1988. Before that, I had always been sleeping with the lights on, but that night I turned off the lights to sleep. From that night onwards, the devil did not appear anymore and my body started to recover. I no longer have discomfort in my chest and there is only slight gastric pains. I regained the ability to do the household chores and I was much better emotionally.
After four months, I was wedded in church on the 1January 1989. Later God gave me a daughter.
If Jesus had not given me peace, how could I ever have what I have today?
Although I had been through difficult times, through it all I came to know the true and living God. This is the greatest blessing I have received in my life.
All glory be given to God. Amen.